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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

What You Want To Hear

Looking back

  • I see that He was there all along.
  • I know this was all to make me stronger.
  • I trust wherever He leads for whatever reasons He chooses.
  • I realize that it could have been so much worse.
  • I recognize that salvation is enough of a gift.
  • It’s clear that He carried me.
  • I see Him making beauty from ashes.
  • I can now help others through this.
No loose ends
That’s what is needed
To make sense of this

It’s what you want to hear

That is just

But this is:

  • He wasn’t there. He was nowhere to be found.
  • This hasn’t made me stronger, it’s made me angrier.
  • I do need a reason. In fact, I need lots of reasons.
  • It couldn’t have been worse. Death would have been kinder.
  • Salvation isn’t enough.
  • He didn’t carry me. He let me suffer mercilessly.
  • Nothing beautiful comes of this. It just is.
  • There is nothing of me left over to help others.

We don’t get a reason
There is no resolution
The loose ends don’t get tied up
Reality isn’t neat
In fact it’s often pretty terrible

That’s not what you want to hear though
So I’ll keep it to myself
And hope
That you make it through this life
Never having to live
Through the hell it takes
To find this out
For yourself