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Sunday, March 29, 2015

Anyone Else

Anyone else
Out there
By a thread

One long day
At a time

Unable to look
Too far into the future

Using every ounce
Of strength
To meet
The requirements
Of the day

What was once
A very happy

How the hell
Have an extra
Couple thousand
Every year
To travel
When I’m looking at
Yet another
Three year loan
To cover repairs
On a home
I can barely afford

Laughing off
The thought of
How any of my
Needs will be met
At retirement

When it’s all
I can do
To meet the needs
Of today

I’m now
Officially winging
This life

I’m not like
Other people
Who have
The luxury
Of a plan

There is
No plan
For lives
Like this

Or just maybe
I am exactly
Like other people

Just maybe
Everyone else
Is winging it too

But just maybe
Everyone else
Does a better job
Of hiding it

Hurts To Feel

It hurts
To feel

When the
Are deep

And I feel things

A blessing
Than a curse
I think

To be a deep feeling girl
In a cold feeling world

To feel things deeply
Rather than not
Feel anything
At all

Sunday, March 22, 2015

My Heart

My heart
Is holy ground
Sacred space

Entrance is
By invitation only

Entrance must
Be earned

And I often
Stand guard
At the door of it

Yet this heart
Has been crushed
By many
I’ve let in

And that just
Makes me

How much more
My heart
Would have suffered

If I wasn’t
The doorway
At all

Within Me

When I can’t
Make sense
Of the world
Around me

By the way
Is always

I try
To make sense
Of the world
Within me

Try to be true
To the things
That I know

Try to remember
Who I am
At the core

Try to walk strong
Through the chaos
That surrounds me
Try not
To rush my days
Or wish them away
For fear
Of the unknown

Try to remember
That life
Can be complicated
And these things
Take time

And I do have time

And I can wait out
Any storm
Around me or within me
With the best of them

Sunday, March 15, 2015


What if when
The emptiness came
We didn’t try
To fill it

What if
We let it sit there
Open and hollow

Gave it some respect
Let it have its space

What if we
Just sat there
With the emptiness
And felt it

Instead of running
As far away from it
As we could

Sunday, March 8, 2015


I will
Not let
This hard world
Harden me

I will stand
In disbelief
As many times
As I need to

At the things
That happen to me

At the people
Who hurt me

At the effort required
To keep my life
In forward motion

But I will not
Be bitter

I will
Stay soft

The list
Of hard people
Is already
Far too long

And I refuse
To add my name
To it

A Chapter Closed

It was
An important story
A much needed read
An essential chapter

A place of safety
In a threatening world

But it’s over
It is no more
A story ended
A chapter closed

And I mourn it
The same way
I mourn
A good book
That has made me think
Moved my soul deeply
And bettered my life
For having read it

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Beautiful Gift

It really was
Quite a beautiful gift
To have had
A sacred witness

Who honored
And validated
The deep pain
Ever present
In my life

But it was
A greater gift still
To wake up
And realize
That I
Am my own

I have learned
How to honor
The pain
That I’m living

I have learned
How to validate
The hard journey
That I’m on

I have learned
To be
In awe
Of me

Who hurts deeply always
But moves forward with courage
And walks softly with grace

That Much

To hold attention

To be looked
In the eyes
When I talk

To have time stop
When I say
What I feel
To be heard
To be seen
To be understood

I want
To be loved
That much