My Heart Hurts

My heart hurts
From lack of
Direction

I miss knowing

Where I was going
Or at least thinking I did

Didn’t used to

Think about it
At all actually
I just always knew
What to do next

But now

I need to know
Where I am going

That it’s a good

Way to go

That what I’m doing

Makes sense

I didn’t used to

Need so much

Probably a sign

Of weakness
That I need more now
Than I did
When life was stable

But now

That life is
Unstable

Any sign

Any mile marker
Along the way
Is a life raft
My oxygen
A compass
That keeps me facing forward
Keeps me from losing my bearings

I didn’t used to need

A life raft
Or oxygen
Or a compass

Didn’t used to need much

At all
And I liked it
That way