Must

Must
All people
Who strive
To be holy
Praise God
During their pain

And is there

A place for them
If they don’t

If they instead

Rage at the pain
Stomp their feet in protest
Cry out in agony

Because it hurts

And they are human

What about

All those people

What should they do

And if

There is not
A place for them
At church

Where

Is it
That they
Should go

How Quickly

How quickly
Life goes
From happy
To sad

From courage

To cower

From life

Is great 
To what
The hell
Just happened

How painful

Pain is

How frightening

The unknown

How amazing

That this
Is life

Please

Please
Stop making
My messy story
Pretty

Please let

My mess
Stand on
Its own

Please 

Acknowledge
The reality
Of my story

Please

Stop creating
Your version
Of my story

Please stop

Twisting my pain
Into a testimony
To give it
Worth

It’s worthy

All by itself

Unwrapped

Unresolved
Unexplained

Please admit

That so much unknown
Scares you

Please admit

That it doesn’t fit
What you believe

Please

Let yourself see
My reality

Please

Take what you see
And learn from it

And if you

Aren’t willing
To do
These things

Then please

Just go
Away

Spiritual Home

I wonder
What I
Am now

I wonder

Where I
Fit

I wonder

If me
Just being me
Is enough

Denomination-less

Without affiliation

On a long

Spiritual journey

That doesn’t end

With me finding
A spiritual home
Here on earth

My spiritual home now

Isn’t a place

It’s something

I see glimpses of
When I find
Things in common
With people I meet
 
Something I touch
The edge of it 
Anytime
I am reminded
That we are
All the same

In need of the same grace

Craving the same

True acceptance

Of who
We really are

Not a place
But a peacefulness
Of soul

An open part of me

I can bring
Wherever I go

To add warmth

To a world
That is cold

And receive warmth

From God
Through the world
In return

Judged

It hurts
To be
Judged

Hurts to know

I have not
Lived up
To standards
Set for me
By someone
Who is weighing
My worth

I could do

Without the
Judgment

Could do

With just
Being heard

Could do with
A conversation
Or twenty
That has
As its goal
Understanding

Could do with

Acknowledgement
That the questions
Are good
On both sides

You

Hearing me

Me

Hearing you

Just might

Make our
Difference
Of opinion

Something
To be
Learned from
Instead of
Feared

Ball

I want
To curl up
In a ball

And then

Roll far
Away

And keep rolling

Until I land
Somewhere
Safe
Enough

To uncurl

Slowly
And breathe

 

 

 

Empty

A little empty
Today

A little raw

A little tired
A little scared
A little weak

A little less

Than me
Right now

A casualty

Of this
Time of year

Someday

I may
Get used
To it

Anticipate it

Own it
Embrace it

But not

Quite
Yet

For now

I will simply
Endure it

And watch it

Come and go
With the season

What Falls

Life
Is not
Within
My control

It does

What it will
When it wills

Drops

Bombs and
Blessings
In the middle
Of my path

Both

Requiring
Some sort of
Response

And that’s

What is
Within
My control

Not what drops
From the sky
Into my life

Only

My response
To what falls

Seasons

How can
There be
So many
Seasons
Of life

Seasons of barely

Being able
To breathe

Seasons

Of inhaling
Abundance
Deeply

Seasons of barely

Being able
To walk

Seasons of

Sprinting
Effortlessly
Along

How can

There be
So much hurt
And so much beauty

How can

There be
So much heaviness
And so much light

How can

Life be
So empty
And so full

How can
This all be
One life

How can we

Best live

Through the changes

And change

With the seasons

And keep moving
Towards what
Makes us whole