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Sunday, September 25, 2016

I Feel Scared


For what
Could potentially
Be lost

And sad
That I have
No control
Over it

What Is Owed

This world is unjust

Terrible things will come

You will be asked to do
More than your fair share

It’s possible that
Your goals and dreams
Won’t happen

There are more disappointments
Than can be named

Can really

And because of this
You can sit
For a long time  
Or forever

Paralyzed from
Or raging against
The pain

You can
Find ways
To numb
What hurts

And though people
May be helpful
And empathize well

The hard truth is this

No one
Is coming
To rescue you

Everyone’s got
Their own stuff

And their stuff
Is just as hard
As your stuff

So we are together
Left with the task
Of figuring out
If this broken life
Is still worthwhile

Left with the work
Of deciding
What to do
With the hand
We’ve been dealt

Left raging
Against the knowledge
That this world owes
Every single one of us

Like a broke relative
That is never
Going to pay up

It owes us all
And it’s never
Going to pay

And yet
This injustice

It is somehow
Still possible  
To find

Just enough good
In this life

To forgive it
For what
Is owed

Sunday, September 18, 2016

If I Could Scream

If I could scream
The truths
Of my life
Right now

I would tell you
So many things
I would scream
Addiction is about
To take down
My family
I would scream
Mental illness
Is hot on our heels again
And this time
I'm not sure
I can withstand
What it brings
I would scream
This life
Is not working
For me

I would scream
Screamy sounds
At the top of my lungs
But I don’t scream
Because no one screams
Because for some
Ridiculous reason
We all
Suffer in silence

Instead I smile
And do my job
Instead I take deep breathes
And small steps forward
When I can
Instead I scream
So loud
On the inside
Please no more pain
Please not again

I scream
Life’s truths

As I scream
No more

And I brace
For what
Is next  

Tuesday, September 13, 2016


I used to search
For signs
That I was worthy

I was worthy

If someone published my work

If I was given a promotion

If I was recognized
By someone
Higher up
Than me

If someone
Or something
Said I was worthy

But I had it all wrong

I know now
That the best recognition
I could ever ask for
Is my own


My words
Are important
Because I wrote them

My own work ethic
Because I know
It’s solid

No longer needing
From the outside

Confirming every day
My own worth
From the inside

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Empty Spaces

I hope wisdom
Comes to
Empty spaces

And pure gold
Is found
In waiting

Because though I know
Not to rush in
And fill
What is empty

With emptiness

But it all hurts anyway

The emptiness hurts
As much as
The vain attempts to
Fill it

So I won’t
Be ashamed
Or afraid
Of my emptiness

I will learn
To own
My empty spaces

So that
My empty spaces
Don’t own me