.widget.ContactForm { display: none; }

Monday, August 25, 2014


I want
To be free
To unravel

All my
Tightly held 

As needed

Again and again

My whole life through

I want
The freedom
Every so often
To release my grip
On what I think is true

To let that truth
Stand on its own
Without me

To stand back and rethink it
See if I still believe it

Then pick it up again
And live it

Or set it free
And make room
For something deeper

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Turning Around

Like today
Make me feel
Like life
Might be turning

Not for me
For others

Brother becomes Captain
Same day that his love was promoted
Niece is noticeably happier
Family is overall more relaxed

And I’m happy too
About the yellow phlox
That just got planted
On my rock wall

I think
If these things
Bloom in spring
Fall over the wall
Like I see them doing everywhere else

Like they’ve never done
For me
No matter
How many times
I’ve planted them before

I just might
Fall over

At so many
Impossible things happening
All at once

I Wonder

I used to think
A sure sign
Of spiritual maturity
Was to have
More questions settled
Than outstanding

I used to strive for that

I thought
Those with fewer questions
Were further along

I thought 
It was possible
To reach a point
Of being sure

I just thought
I wasn’t
There yet

And I was humbled
To receive the prayers
Of those who tolerated
The questions
I was brave enough
To share

My journey
Was off
By just a few
Million miles

I wonder
How it would have been
To have my questions
Instead of feared

To have unanswered questions
Fully welcomed
As part of
The mystery

To have company
In the questions
To be told
It’s noble
To live the questions

To be rewarded
For questioning deeply

I wonder
How it would have been
I’ll never

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Bright Eyes

I have
Bright eyes
In old pictures

Wide smile
Open heart
Everything happy
Even my skin

But I don’t
Have that now

My eyes are tired
My heart has suffered
My smile is cautious
My skin is marked

I’m not
The girl
In those pictures

I’m different

I’m better

Just not better
In pictures

  Audio Version


In my life
People were always
With a story

This is Mary
She is a missionary

This is Pete
He just had surgery

This is Sue
She sings like an angel

With a story
To validate

Instead of
As is

I wonder
How it would be
To be introduced
As nothing more
Than who you are
This is Mary
This is Pete
This is Sue

No story

Just worthy

My Journey

My journey
Has let
A lot
Of people

Has worried people
Disappointed people
Angered people

My journey
With God
Is so personal

But the effects
Have been felt
For miles
All around


I hadn’t realized
How much
Of my life
Was lived out
In a cage

Fenced in
By wire

I never knew
There were hard boundaries

Never thought to explore

Didn’t cross my mind

Until I got close to the edge
Approached the boundary
And was met with glares

Touched the fence
And got zapped

Felt the pain
Of being
Judged as weak
Judged as unholy
Just for going near

It hurts
Getting near the edge

It is torture
Passing through the boundaries

Passing through with scars

Passing through
Without the approval
Or respect
Of anyone
But myself

I wonder why
We are 
So hard
On those
Whose journeys
Lead them elsewhere
When elsewhere
Is closer
To God


It really is hard
To walk away from
Instead of towards

Approval from family
Approval from friends
Approval from those respected

It really is hard
To unlearn
Early lessons

To redefine
What it means
To be holy

To just be
Who you were
Meant to be

And know that’s enough
And call it a day

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

One Phone Call

One phone call
Made today
To figure out
Your school schedule
Is not enough

Is not
A contribution
To our life

One phone call when the house is a mess
One phone call when four kids have asked for music lessons
One phone call when meals need to be planned
One phone call when the budget needs to be reconciled
One phone call when the dog could use a walk
One phone call when the workshop needs to be overhauled
One phone call when the music room needs to redone

One phone call
Made today
Is not enough

It’s not enough
For today

It’s not enough
For the future

It’s the path of least resistance
Shrinking away from life
Instead of rising up to meet life

It’s lazy
It’s selfish
It’s cowardly

And it’s definitely

Not enough