There is something so inauthentic about resumes with their white sheet of “this is what I can do” Times New Roman bullet point precision. It’s not that the information on resumes is untrue. It’s more a question of when did what’s on this paper become more important than what’s not on this paper? Where is the balance between sharing with the world snippets of our professional shiny selves vs. sharing anything of depth or vulnerability?
Maybe my lack of affection for resumes stems from the fact that titles have always made me uncomfortable (quite possibly because I haven’t had many important sounding titles). Even so, I’d prefer to be known for who I am as a person rather than by any skills I might have to offer. I’d prefer to have people think of me and know: This is someone you can count on; This is someone who does what she says; This is someone who has her priorities straight; This is someone who is consistently kind.
I wonder sometimes what would happen if we were asked to share what is most important to us in our lives outside of work. To provide a reverse resume of sorts that included not a litany of our professional achievements but rather a list of our most impactful non-work life experiences and choices. The kind of experiences that crystalize what is most meaningful about our time here.
I envision a world of reverse resumes that answer questions like:
- What events in your life so far have made you a better person?
- What experiences have shown you deep truths that you didn’t know before?
- What in this life has broken you?
- What has changed you?
I picture whole sections of reverse resumes that highlight ways of being that give life more meaning such as:
- Attended most of my child’s soccer games this season.
- Enrolled in a painting class that opened up the world of art to me
- Sat down for dinner together as a family three nights a week
I see a heading called “Great Books Read” with a list of the books that have had the greatest impact this year. Maybe there would also be heading called “Friendships Developed” with a list of people you’ve made a successful effort to know better. If we are being honest, there could even be a section titled “Friendships Let Go” to account for the fact that life changes and friendships do to.
I imagine stacks of reverse resumes with a richness and depth of categories that reflect what it means to be human. Resumes with headings like: Memories Made, Dreams Birthed, Interests Pursued, Things Done Just Because I Could, Goals Reached, Goals I’m Working Towards, and so much more.
It’s not that all the amazing things we can “do” aren’t important. These things surely are important in relation to getting a job.
It’s just that so much else is important too.
And I hope we don’t forget that.
I hope that no matter what we accomplish in life, we never lose sight of this tender timeless truth - Who we are will always be infinitely more important than what we can do.