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Sunday, November 29, 2015

A Certain Sadness

There is
A certain
To life

To its
Ebb and flow

To the way
It plays out

All around us

And within us

Yet it is us
And there is just
A certain sadness
To it all

Saturday, November 21, 2015

I Do Not Yell

I do not yell
Into this world

I speak softly

And those
Who are listening

Painful Beautiful Lives

If I could stop
The pain
In this world
I would

If I could stop
Lives from imploding
On an individual level
And lives from being ruined
On a global level
I would

If I could stop
Personal disasters and
National tragedies
Devastating diagnoses and
Terrorist attacks
I would

But I
Don’t have
That power

Not on a level
That matters

We live
In a world
In motion

With hearts
And souls
In motion

And only the power
The extraordinary power

To live bravely
The painful
Beautiful lives
Entrusted to us

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Can't Undo

I can’t
What I’ve
Been through

Can’t un-see
What I’ve seen

Can’t un-hear
What I’ve heard

Can’t un-feel
What I’ve felt

Can’t un-live
What I’ve

And any healing
That has come
Has been the result
Of embracing
What I’ve survived

Maybe that’s why
I get so offended
By those
Who prefer
That I minimize
The impact

Who encourage
Me to
Keep hard feelings
Out of sight

Encouraging denial
At the cost
Of my survival

Encouraging me
To undo
What can’t be


If asked
What religion
I am now

I have
Only this

I am someone
Who witnessed
A psychotic break
And I live
Each day
With the aftermath

And also someone
Who has done
The painful work
Of reconciling
That experience
With how I believe
God works

In the process
I have lost friends
Scared people away
By walking
The journey
Required of me

So what religion am I

I am someone
Who witnessed
A psychotic break
And I live
With the aftermath

I’m that religion

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Never Over

Four years out

It struck me

Why this anniversary
Of hurt

So much

It’s not the remembrance
Of a day
Long ago
When pain came
And then ended

It’s the remembrance
Of the day
That the life we had

A remembrance
Of being introduced
To a hurt
That will forever
Be part
Of our lives

It’s never over

That’s the point
That’s the source of the pain

The knowledge that
From that day forward
This is forever
And never


I will

The pain
Of November

I will respect
The sadness
Within me

I won't
Ask permission
To grieve
What’s been lost

As if
Someone else
Could grant
Such a thing

I am not scared
Of November

I am only sad

I am not bitter about
Or thankful for
The pain

I am living life
As it comes

And it hurts more
In November

Sunday, November 1, 2015


I remember
That day
Back in college
Twenty three years ago

The day
I heard him
Laugh too long
At something
That wasn't funny
And thought
That is odd

That was

Who knew

I didn't then

But I do now

And this
Is why today
I pay such
Close attention
To everything

Even something
As simple
As laughter