Pain

There are those
Who are unable
To appreciate another’s pain
Because their own pain is too great

And also those

Who touch the edges of another’s pain
But don’t dare to go further
Because they can’t allow pain
To come that close

And those

Who recognize fully another’s pain
But can’t bear to hear where the pain has led
Because pain leads to scary places
And no one wants to be scared

And those

Who look right at another’s pain
But deny that it is painful
Because denial keeps them safe
From my pain and theirs

And thankfully those

Who see another’s pain
And just acknowledge its presence
Because confirming what is real helps

But no matter how pain is viewed

Whether it is explained, excused,
Denied or acknowledged

Pain is real

And pain is lonely
But loneliness
Isn’t what I feel most strongly

The strongest feeling for me is frustration

       At how hard it is to get help
       At having to rely on a broken system
       At having to work harder
       At having to orchestrate life
       At having to plan so many details
       At how hard survival is

But it is ingrained in me

To suck it up
To figure it out
To do it myself

So that’s what I try to

I only know it’s lonely
When someone comes alongside
To help

Only then

Am I reminded
How nice it is
To have company
From anyone
However incompletely
They need
To view my pain
To stay present