Rest

Showing up for life
Is not a problem for me
It lets me into other people’s lives
Keeps me busy
Sometimes makes me happy
Distracts me from my pain
And I like that

The pain is always there

Waiting for me when I get back
From showing up
But for a while
I forget the pain

Resting for me

Is harder
Being still
Is torture

Whenever I am still

I feel
And what I feel
Is pretty awful

Whenever I rest

I find sadness

Maybe I’m doing it wrong

If there is stillness or rest

Without pain
I need to find it

Or maybe I just need to sit here

And feel it all

That sounds fun

This is hard

These options are not appealing
Even rest is work now
Ugh