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Thursday, July 25, 2013


Showing up for life
Is not a problem for me
It lets me into other people’s lives
Keeps me busy
Sometimes makes me happy
Distracts me from my pain
And I like that

The pain is always there
Waiting for me when I get back
From showing up
But for a while
I forget the pain

Resting for me
Is harder
Being still
Is torture

Whenever I am still
I feel
And what I feel
Is pretty awful

Whenever I rest
I find sadness

Maybe I’m doing it wrong

If there is stillness or rest
Without pain
I need to find it

Or maybe I just need to sit here
And feel it all

That sounds fun

This is hard
These options are not appealing
Even rest is work now