Church

I used to think
Church
Was a place
To learn from those wiser than me
To ask questions
To grow
To belong

But now

I am not sure how to define wiser
I am not finding space for my questions
I am growing apart
I no longer belong

It’s not a matter of kindness

I find such kind people in church
And that kindness
Only makes it more confusing

Kind people with strong opinions

Make it hard to be heard

I used to look

For those who sought God
Only in church
Because where else
Would they be

And I still look

For people who seek God
But I am no longer looking so hard for them
In church

And that is odd for me

And I don’t know where this leads
Or how long it will take
Or what I will find

And I can hear

Concerned voices saying

Who will interpret the Bible for you

Who will keep you accountable
Where will you encounter God

But now I can also hear my response

More clearly than in the past

I will embrace wider interpretations

Does accountable mean in line
I will continue to encounter God in the ways
I have encountered God all year

In nature

In my neighbors
In dance
In messy relationships
In newborn twins
Maybe sometimes in church
But more so
All over the world in surprising ways

Mysterious ways

Which I am
Still learning