Not Enough

Why is it God
That people talk of you
Like you are the God
Of happy endings
 
This happened
I prayed
Resolution came
And here are the lessons learned
 
That is
Just not
How I think of you
At all

This happened

I prayed
There was silence
Then it got worse
Then better again
Now back to nights of no sleep
Going on 10 in a row now

And any good experience

Pissed on by reality
Damaged by memory
Resolution not here
And for what

You have become

To me
The God
Of unhappy endings
 
Still the God of all power
Able to change the course
Of the world
Or a life
 

But not kind enough

To rescue or relieve
Not compassionate enough
Not merciful enough

Just not enough

For me
This year