I Miss The God I Thought I Knew

I miss the God I thought I knew
Don’t like the God I know
      
       I miss the God that protected me
       I miss the God that loved me
       I miss the God that knew me
       I miss the God that guided me
       I miss the God that was always here
       I miss the God that heard my prayers

I miss the me I used to be

When I thought I knew God well

       I miss believing
       I miss trusting
       I miss thinking God was good
       I miss wanting to know God more
       I miss looking forward to what God had in store for my life
       I miss singing heartfelt songs about God’s goodness
 
       I miss the joy I carried within no matter what came my way
       I miss my not so simple faith that was somehow enough

I miss the old me

And I miss the old God

The God that never leaves or forsakes

The God that comes near
That’s the God I miss
So much

The God that leaves and forsakes

The God that turns away
That’s the God I don’t care for
At all

Confusing

Unsettling
That I liked God more when I knew Him less

This makes

Thinking I Know
Anything
For sure now
Especially about God
Really
Hard