No Win

This is such
An impossible
Time

A no win

If I keep us afloat

I look stingy
Lacking holiday spirit

If I spread us too thin

It’s that much harder next month
For me
And no one else
Because no one else
Really cares

This is not fun for me

Being so detailed
But not perfect
So still wondering
Where it all goes
And how
On earth
I could track things
Any better

Aware that

Plenty of others
Have it worse
But a fair amount
Have it better

And today

I would like
To have it better

Instead of being stuck

In the land of No

No “Good job getting us

       through this season”

No “Can’t believe we covered
       what was needed
       without using credit”

No “Those were tough choices

       but I get why they were made”

Just “We need to buy this

        and bring this
        and do this”

I actually do like fun

I actually do like things
I actually would like another life
That had more fun
And more things
 
But for now
It’s this life
And these choices

Now accepting

Applications
For anyone
Who wants to do this job
In my place

Starting immediately
No training provided
Best of luck
With it all