Fun

Fun
I’m not sure
What you are now

Are you a thing

An event
A state of mind

Can heavy hearted people

Have fun
Does fun make the heart
Less heavy

I have memories of fun

Of times
When I was just happy
Not thinking
Just lost in the living
Just being

Skydiving was fun

Going to Letterman was fun
Island vacations were fun
Concerts were fun
Going dancing was fun
Buying new stuff was fun
Hope was fun

My life right now

Not fun

The only thing

I would find fun
About jumping out of a plane today
Would be secretly wishing
That the chute
Didn’t open

The only thing

I would find fun
About planning a getaway today
Would be hoping
That I never
Had to come back
 
So I don’t think fun
Is what I want
Fun is temporary
I want something more permanent

I want to be done with this

I want to breathe again

I want lack of pain

 
That would be fun
I would like that a lot

Now how
Can I get myself
Some of that