Not Awful

Life is not awful
Anymore
It’s just
A little sad

I miss things

I miss life’s little luxuries

I miss picking where I want to go on vacation
I miss the anticipation of a new purchase
I miss that little high you get from new stuff
I miss the thinking something good might happen
I miss not having to think so hard about buying things for fun 
I miss buying kayaks and writing desks on a whim
I miss wasting money actually
I miss not feeling sucker punched every time something in my house breaks
I miss not feeling in a race against time to pay down debt before the next hammer drops
I miss how much easier my old life was

Life is not awful

But life is not good

And I can’t say

I’ll be sad
When it’s
Over