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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Everywhere

I see God now
In everything
Everywhere
All the time

In people
In clouds
In passing comments
In furry pets
In warm souls
In wonderful food

Unmistakably there

God
That I see
So clearly now
Without effort

How come
I couldn’t
See you then

God
That I want to believe
Is everywhere
All the time

Where were you
When my world
Went black

I want to know

Because how
Can I say
You are everywhere
Always
If I can’t
Figure out
Where you were

Exactly where were you God
Where was my help

As he was starting to lose his mind
As his confusion grew deeper
When my sense of safety fell apart
When he covered himself in feces
When he screamed threats in my face
When hospitals released him unwell
When I was begging for guidance
When I lived for months
A breath away
From the edge
Of a black hole
To nowhere

Were you there at all

Were you there
In people
In clouds
In passing comments
In furry pets
In warm souls
In wonderful food
But I didn’t see You
Because none
Of those things
Mattered

And if you were there
Then why
Weren’t you there
In ways I could see

Why weren’t you there
In ways that mattered

So hard still
For me
To accept

That I’m sure
You knew
Where I was God

But I just
Don’t know
Where you were

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