How
Are you
Today
What thoughts
Fill you mind
In these days, months, years maybe
Before the day
You will kill me
Were you born enraged
Already angry
At anything
Everything
Or have the beginnings of hatred
Just begun
To creep up
In you
Have you noticed
Within you yet
Signs of confusion or paranoia
Or is that still
On the horizon
Could anything
Have helped
Dissipate the hate
In your soul
Was there a treatment
Not sought
That could have brought
Relief to your mind
Have you thought yet
About buying a gun
Or are you still researching
The best way to get one
Or do you already own one
Or maybe several
Were they hard to get
Were you taught to shoot young
Or did you learn from Google
Or video games
Do you already have a plan
Have you cased the location
Where my life will end
Have you played the scene through
In your mind
What do you feel when you do
Do you wonder how I am today
What I think about
Do you wonder
If I’m angry
If I’m wild minded
If I own a gun
If I too want more from life
Than it’s given me
I do, by the way
Are you planning this
Because you hate
Something I represent
Or because you believe
Death is a better option
Than life
For all
Do you see yet
The irony
That strangers
Whose paths cross for one day
Will forever
Be connected in history
Will forever share
The same death date
I’m sorry about the hate in your heart
I’m sorry about the brokenness in your mind
And whether your actions
Are rooted in hatred or brokenness
I’m sorry
You had access
To a gun
This is
A battle
I cannot win
I can’t stop
A hatred that deep
An illness that acute
A system that enmeshed
So I will spend
My days left here
Soaking up happiness
Where ever I can
Yet forever wondering
Where are you today
And is there anything that can be done
To help you
To heal you
To alter the path you’re on
So that it never
Crosses mine
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