This Question

I think
Every Christian
Should be asked
This question

Other than that

Which involves
You judging
Other people's
Behavior

What

Are the things 
You believe
About God

I think the question

Should be asked

And I think

The answers
Would be revealing

And the silence

Would be deafening

Relieved

She
Stands
Alone
In deep pain

Christians swarm

Surrounding 
Doing everything they can
To organize the pain
To force the pain to bear fruit
Minimizing the pain
So it can be accepted
And made into
A testimony

And when that doesn’t go well

When the pain won’t budge

And fruit can’t be born of it

They wipe the dust off their feet

And walk away

And she is left
Standing alone again
In deep pain still
But relieved

Martyrs

We love our martyrs
Who die
And leave lives
That bring glory
To God

We also love our martyrs

Who live
And say
Through this suffering
God be praised

But what to do

With the other martyrs

Who are alive
But wish they weren't

Who don't
Praise God for the pain
Though they
Think they should
And others
Are just waiting
For them to do so

Or who do praise God

For the pain
But don’t
Feel praise
In their souls

Half dead martyrs
Living half dead lives

Who struggle

To reconcile
Pain with God
 
Because the pain in their souls
Doesn’t fit
With the God in their hearts

And the pain

Hasn’t killed them or
Made them more holy
 
And no one
Wants to hear about it
Until it does

Melancholy

Melancholy
Today

Slowed down

Softened
Aware
Maybe too aware
Of the deep

But today

Also aware
Of God’s love

Which maybe

I feel most easily

On slowed down

Melancholy
Days

Get Them Back

A desire to pray

A way to pray

Only what I mean
Only what I believe
And nothing more

A pure trust

In God
That comes
From my heart

Strong belief

In a just a few certainties
In the middle of the unknown

I used to have these things

Then I lost them

And lately I wonder

If I will ever

Get them back

My Storms

I admire
Those who say
They hold tighter
To God
During life’s storms

But really

During some storms
Holding on
Is not
Possible

During some storms

The winds
Are so strong
No grip
Can be held

During some storms

Hands holding on
Are severed
And people
Are catapulted
With no control
Through the core

So though some

Can speak of
Holding tight to God
And finding meaning
In passing
Life’s tests
With honor

My storms

Aren’t like that

My storms

Leave me broken

My storms

Leave me with nothing
To offer
To God
Or Humanity

My storms

Don’t earn me
Passing marks
For life’s tests
 
My storms
Remind me
That as nice
As it is
To think I
Can hold on
To God
 
Most times
If there
Is any
Holding on
Going on

It can only

Be God
Holding on
To me

Happier

Maybe
I should
Be happier

Because he is making

Great strides

Because he is getting

Things done

Because he is showing up more

For his life

For our life

Maybe
I should
Be happier

But really

I’m just tired
From holding it all
For so long

Really
I’m just waiting
To see how this goes

To see if it will continue

And to figure out
What to do
If it doesn’t

Peace

It seems
We are all
In common pursuit
Of peace

But does anyone

Really find it

Or are we all

Just moving together
Closer to it

Helping each other
Face the right direction

Honing in

On happiness

At the very least always

Making a point
To walk towards it
And not away

Acknowledging

The debris
Along the way
To where we want to be

Looking for

Happiness

Looking for

A permanent place
Of peace

But never

On this Earth
Quite finding it

Reset

There are
A few things
That clear
My mind

Reset
My thoughts

Help me

Wipe the slate clean
And start fresh

They are

A good thunderstorm
A powerful song
A satisfying meal
Anything funny
Sunshine shining down
Deep connection
A good workout

All these things

Make me pause

Fix me

For a time

Shake up my routine

Give me rest and

Make me strong

Reset me

To start again
Tomorrow

Sometimes

Sometimes
I just
Miss God

The old God

The God

I had
Made up
In my mind

The one

Who stayed
Within the lines

The one

Who played
By the rules
I came up with

The one

Who lived
Within my realm
Of understanding

This new God

Is a bit more
Unpredictable

At times
Disappointing

Not concerned with

Resolution
 
Silent
When I’d like
Some noise

A different God

A deeper God
A God most definitely
Beyond my understanding

Idea

Everywhere
I look
I see
The result
Of someone’s dream

Restaurant grand openings

Businesses breaking ground
Even things
As obvious
As paved roads
And the different 
Shapes of cars

Someone

Thought
These things
Up

Someone

Had an idea
 

Someone

Had room in their life
To think
To dream
And make that dream
A reality

I wonder

If their lives
Were going well
When they thought
Of such things

I wonder more

If the ideas sparked
When they were defeated
At wits end
About to give up

I guess
I just wonder
What it takes
To have a dream
Then turn that dream
Into a reality

Unknown

We can’t make
Our unknowns
Known

It’s just not

Within
Our power

We can’t

Guide others
Through their
Unknowns either
Because each path
Is unique
 
But we can surely

Be in the middle

Of different
Unknowns
Together

Walk beside each other

On a common road
With different
Destinations
 
Keep company

Keep faith

Keep walking

 
Keep trying

Not to be afraid

Of what it is
We can’t know

Position

I am not
Concerned
With anyone’s
Official
Religious or
Political
Position on
Anything

I really

Just
Don’t
Care

I’d much

Rather see
How what
People believe
Is lived out

How do we live

What we so strongly
Believe

Do we love people equally and let them love us

Do we love pretty in this messy world
Do we love with no conditions
Do we love at all

Just seems

Like such
A waste of time  
All the energy spent
Taking a stand

With no mention

Of how that stand
Translates
Into
How we will live and
How much we will love

Imperfect

We aren’t born
With perfect
Bodies

Why then

Would we be born
With perfect
Minds

We are

Imperfect and broken
Outside and in

Our whole

Entire
Lives

It’s amazing then
A miracle of sorts
That somehow
We still find in life
Moments
Brief flashes of
Perfection and wholeness
Anyway