There Are Days

There are days
I wish
For a sign
That I’m living
This messy life
Right

Days

When a kind word
Would go
A long way

Days

When it would help
To look beside me
And see someone
Stumbling right alongside

But I could wait

My whole life
For these things

So I will take

Small successes
As a sign

I will tell myself

Good job
Now and then

I will be

My own company

I will keep going

Until I can’t
Go anymore

Did You Know

Did you know
Way back then
God
The years
That were ahead
For me

Could you see

What was coming

Did your heart break too

Days prior
When you witnessed
My carefree spirit
Knowing
It was the last
You’d see
Of that
For a while

I sometimes wonder

If I would have wanted
To see
It coming

If I would have benefited

From some strong inner voice
Warning me
That something life changing
Was on my doorstep

Telling me

To brace myself
 
To get one last
Good laugh in
While I could

Poor Me

So many
Hear about
His lost vision
His lost mind
His long road back
Which includes another
Detour through addiction
And think
Poor him

Fuck that

How about

Poor me
Who has had to be
Eyes for both
Mind for both
Liver of life for both
For so long

The one

To keep
This sinking boat
Afloat
When all he does
Is fill it
With sand

The one

That’s watched him
Waste opportunities
Most others
Would kill for

Opting instead

For the comfort
Of self pity

Poor him

I don’t think so

It should be

Poor me

Keeping Confidences

Holding tight
The pain of another
Because that’s
What love
Requires

Knowing but not revealing

Someone else’s struggle
Because the story
Is still being written

Refusing to share stories

That have caused pain
Because the stories
Aren’t truly mine
To tell

Keeping confidences

A difficult endeavor

Heavy at times

But really

What choice
Do I have

Her World Went Black

And once again
Her world went black

And the darkness

She feared most
Returned

But then

She remembered
All she had learned
In the dark

She remembered that she knew how to find light again

She remembered not to wait on others to give light

She remembered how to get the light back

So that’s exactly

What she did

 

            Audio Version

 

 

 

Edges

I wish
That life
Was a little
Less painful

Wish there were

More pockets
Of comfort

Wish there were

A few more
Guarantees

Wish there was

A way to get through
Less bruised

Wish that someone

Would round off
The edges

So the hurts

Wouldn’t hurt
Quite so much

New Year's

I don’t
Make promises
To life
On New Year’s

I don’t

Tell life
My plans
For the year

The goals I want to accomplish

The things I’d like to do
All my greatest hopes

Why do that

Why show my hand

When really

At this point
I think life
Should be making promises
To me

Think life

Maybe owes me
A little more

Think life

Must earn the right
To hear my dreams
Again

And until then
I’ll just keep them
To myself